Nuclear Power on Trial

 Judge: Order in the court! Let the trial begin. This is The People v. Nuclear Power.

Prosecution: Your honor, I only have one word to start off my argument: Chernobyl.

Nuclear: Why is it that anytime anyone debates over this, Chernobyl is the first name to come up? It was one simple mistake.

Prosecution: Simple? Nearly 50 people died just because of the initial explosion. Dozens of others died later due to radiation-induced cancer. How is that simple? And one mistake? What about the Fukushima accident?

Nuclear: You say all of these things, but keep in mind, nuclear threat was the only reason WWII ended. I have helped save countless, countless, lives.

Prosecution: And how many had to die to achieve that? How many people have suffered due to the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki?

Nuclear: A small price to pay for several years of peace.

Prosecution: You sound like every supervillain ever.

Nuclear: Objection. Not relevant.

Judge: Sustained.

Nuclear: And what about the energy that the smallest quantity of hydrogen can generate? This is actual, efficient, renewable energy. Say goodbye to coal.

Prosecution: Oh yeah? And what about all the radioactive waste? Is that good for the environment?

Nuclear: Put it hundreds of feet below the ground. It won’t harm anyone, and it will naturally decay over time.

Prosecution: And where will the money to dig these holes, to get the people and equipment required to operate the nuclear plants, come from?

Nuclear: At first through investors, but eventually, through the energy we sell. Just like every other energy source.

Prosecution: What about the safety of the workers who have to dig holes this deep to dispose of the waste?

Nuclear: It’s literally the same as when workers dig to get petroleum; your honor, the prosecution is just saying stuff for the sake of saying them.

Judge: Yeah alright, the defendant is not guilty. Prosecution, come up with better arguments next time.